


Half the World Away

by Roxanne_says_go_home



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Crying, Crying in the club today lads, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eramis needs some goddamn therapy but she does have a girlfriend who can help a bit, Eventual Fluff, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Hallucinations, I am here to break your hearts into a thousand pieces, Past Character Death, Slightly ooc Eramis, as in she shows weakness in front of someone, okay i think that's it, see y'all in therapy, she wouldn't be caught dead doing that but fuck you it's my fic I do what I want, there's like zero Eramis content so I am here to feed the people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:34:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29364081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roxanne_says_go_home/pseuds/Roxanne_says_go_home
Summary: "So here I goI'm still scratching around in the same old holeMy body feels young but my mind is very old.So what do you say?You can't give me the dreams that aren't mine anywayYou're half the world awayYou're half the world away..."The present echoes the past, and suddenly, you're half the world away.
Relationships: Eramis/Athrys (Destiny), Eramis/Guardian (Destiny)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29





	Half the World Away

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I know.  
> Doom fic. I should be updating it.
> 
> But I have angst and you're gonna like it.

What's _lovesick_ when you're just plain _sick?_

Eramis has been sick for a long, long time.

It's plain, plain to see, so _obvious_ now that she thinks about it. She clenches her hands, claws tightening around the Darkness shard. She hears its whispers in her mind, sees flashes of past and future visions creep in the corners of her eyes, feels the frost creeping up her arm. It makes no pretenses, now. It demands she obey.

She doesn't want to obey. Not anymore.

She _refuses_ to be controlled by this _sickness_.

The Kell's gaze slides to the unconscious, dainty figure in the nest, body sliced neatly in three by the flowing curtains that separate them. A vision lunges forward, overtaking her senses—

_(A fight, many fights, two different outcomes but always the same: one of them freezes, Darkness the betrayer, one of them freezes and **shatters** , and so does what's left of the survivor's heart)_

—and she claws her way back out of the cold, cold lies, heaving for breath. She takes a moment to regulate herself, all the while staring intently at the rise and fall of Lilith's chest, listening to the puff of her vents as the Exo breathes.

The chiffon-like fabric hisses quietly over her gauntlet as Eramis pushes it aside to nullify sudden and useless fears. Without the curtains in the way the little Hunter is whole, unshattered, white and purple instead of white and blue, soft and safe under her cloak. She reaches in and tenderly lays her hand on Lilith's head, cupping the pearly metal. Warm.

She sighs, relieved.

The world glitches.

Suddenly it's _Athrys_ in the nest, under her hand, skin _cold_ and _sticky_ with blood, contorted and broken in her death throes. Her sun-dyed robes are ripped, her strings of glass beads are cracked and shattered so much like ice—

Her blue blue eyes are unseeing—

Plaster dust from the ceiling caving in filling her ever screaming mouth—

_(Please, please, no, Eramis is screaming as she scrambles through the ruins of their house, towards the nursery, towards the pup's weak cries, towards Athrys—_

_Athrys—!_

"Eri?" _)_

Reality glitches back.

She yanks her hand away as if burned, scrambling back from the nest in terror. No, no, not the visions, please, not the hallucinations, _please_ , she might _hurt_ Lilith—

Her head jerks painfully as her helmet collides with the floor with a crash, her uninjured eyes swimming in and out with sparks and the cold concrete. She covers her face with her hands, curling into a trembling ball. The shard skitters away to parts unknown.

"Eri…?"

Again, the sweet voice calls her.

"Eri? What's wrong?" A shuffle of fabric. "Eri? Eri? What's wrong, honey?"

She curls tighter. She can't, she can't, she can't—

There's a delicate _pat, pat, pat,_ of footsteps as Lili leaves the nest and makes her way over to the shivering Kell. A gentle whisper of Eramis' cloak, wrapped around her slender shoulders, dragging on the ground.

Quiet, but louder, louder still, until they stop. A crumple of material. A tiny hand on her upper arm.

"Eramis?"

 _"Please…"_ she _keens_ , she does not mean to, but she can't _stop_ the emotions pouring out, _"please, no…"_

"Oh, my darling." Lilith coos, kneeling beside her. Tiny hands slowly drift just above the Eliksni's armoured arms down to her hands and carefully hold them.

"Oh, my love. I'm here, darling. I'm here. It's okay…" Her deft fingers intertwine with Eramis' own, giving a small, grounding squeeze. "I'm here, my love, don't be afraid…"

Eramis chitters, hearts aching. _'I'm afraid b e c a u s e of that!'_ She wants to say, to scream. _'Because it will take you away from me! It took her away from me before, I cannot lose you again!'_

The fingers clenched with hers spasm. Her little Light takes a shallow breath. Her voice wobbles.

"What do you mean, 'again'? You've never lost me, dear one…"

_Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!_

She'd said it out loud.

"But… 'before' and 'again'..."

The Kell freezes more still than in her visions. Her face is pulled away from the floor and hands are pried away from her face. Magenta orbs stare into her own.

"Eramis." White hands cradle her face, a thumb brushes away spilling tears. "I am not a replacement for Athrys."

Eramis can't breathe.

Her vision blurs once again; pale metal to pale flesh, magenta optics to cyan eyes, lace trim to glass beading. The only thing that stays the same is her cloak, draped over her shoulders.

She doesn't resist as her helmet is pulled free of her head and set aside with a clink. "Eramis." A soothing coo. "I'm not Athrys. I never have been. Never will be. You know this. We both do. I may be kind, and patient, and loving, and gentle like her—but I'm _not_ her."

The Kell can feel the Solar under Lili's plating, the warmth, the Light in the Darkness. She's melting in those delicate hands.

"I love you, my Eri. I love you so very much. But—you need to let it go. Just a little."

"Let… _go?"_

The Exo stops her before she can become truly angry. "I am not asking you to forget! I am not asking you to dishonour! I am asking you to _let go_. Just a little bit at a time. One tiny step at a time. If you stay like this, if you cling on too hard, it will—" here she swallows a sob, her own tears gathering, and Eramis' hearts creak in pain. "—it will eat you up. It will eat you, in ways the Darkness cannot, and in ways the Darkness can exploit. It will swallow you whole. Trust me." Her sweet voice drops to a husky whisper. _"I know."_

Silence.

They sit like that for a few minutes, waiting for each other's shaking to dissipate. Eramis doesn't remember the Hunter's hands leaving her face to twine with her own digits, but nonetheless, she's greatful. She remembers to breathe as well, long, deep puffs to try and expel her anxiety.

Lilith's presence is so _calming_.

… Still.

She can't help but fear—

"... But little Light, won't the Dark—"

 _"Shhhhhh."_ A pearly thumb rubs soothing circles over her knuckle. "The Darkness can't take me, dear heart. I've killed too many gods and taken too many boons to succumb to it now." Her smile, placating, oozes resigned confidence. "The Darkness will not take me. I will be here at the end of all things, still fighting."

The end of all things.

Eramis has lived so _long_ , but even to the end of the universe, it… doesn't bare thinking. Lilith will stay for far, far longer than she.

 _Oh_.

The end. There's a beginning, too.

"If you will be at the end of all things… then I was there at the beginning. I will meet you in the middle. I will be there, at the end of all things, and I will still be fighting with you."

Her smile is radiant, like the Light that powers her soul.

 _Oh_ , how can one being be so _beautiful?_

The Exo lands a tender kiss on her right cheek. "I love you."

The other responds in kind, nuzzling her metal cheek. "I love you too."

For a moment, they simply bask in each other's existence, drinking in the palpable adoration in the air between them.

"..."

"..."

"… Eri?"

"Yes, Lili?"

"Can we go back to the nest? The floor is cold."

"Haaaah… Of course we can, little love."

**Author's Note:**

> When Shadowtriad posts her next absolutely soul destroying, heartbreaking work on Eramis, just know that it's all my fault. I wrote this angst and showed it to her and broke her. And inspired her.
> 
> I am utterly to blame for the emotional pain she will cause next :)
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments!! If you don't leave either I'm going to steal your Kneecaps!!!


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